PREDICTIONS AND HAWT TAKES FOR 2018 SEASON

WE ARE SEEING LIVE REGULAR SEASON GAMES TOMORROW OH MY GAWDDDDDD!!!!

Tomorrow the Angels are FINALLY back and set the course to #TakeBackTheWest by opening up the 2018 season in Oakland. But before the season starts, every site is gonna be having predictions on how many HRs Trout is gonna hit, will Simmons win a gold glove and other BORING and UNCOOL stats we DON'T care about. Here are some hot takes you're not gonna hear ANYWHERE ELSE

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  • Over 12 times Mike Trout will "accidentally" eat Pujols burrito. IT WAS CLEARLY LABELED ALBERT
  • Keynan Middleton will probably come out to Post-Malone if not the theme from Rugrats 
  • Cozart's Donkey is actually Eric Aybar and Jeff Mathis
  • Billy Eppler will trade Ohtani the pitcher for PTBNL but will keep Ohtani the hitter
  • Build Me Up Buttercup will no longer be in existence
  • Ian Kinsler is going to have a slash line of FruitNinja/KillBill/JasonVoorhees
  • Matt Shoemaker will reveal that under his beard is another giant in-stadium screen
  • Andrew Heaney will smile in a team photo. 10/10 would not want to bat against him #fierce
  • Angels go 162-0 and win the world series because it is our time
 Cozart's donkey is a fraud. I don't believe he exists.

Cozart's donkey is a fraud. I don't believe he exists.

Tomorrow. 1pm PST. FSW. Check your local listings. Lets.Fucking.GOOOOOOOOO